but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
