he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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