No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Nicole vs. Life
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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