I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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