Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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