I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
