New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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