His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we're so committed to being not committed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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