remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
