just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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