She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
