I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
