It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
