Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize