I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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