PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
