I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
