never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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