oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
try to milk me bitch
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize