Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize