idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
