Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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