well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
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DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
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Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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