I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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