We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think my vagina is haunted
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
