Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
