I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize