hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
