Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
