i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
