I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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