i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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