so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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