Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
ttyl tear gas
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize