having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
