Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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