He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
