new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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