And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
