a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
and you fell through a lawn chair
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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