I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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