Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
