she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
