So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I will pee on everything he values.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
