My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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