I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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