so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
