At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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