Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
