so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
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I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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