dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
